Wednesday, November 30, 2016

"Who Killed the Mince Spy" Blog Tour (GUEST POST)

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Book: Who Killed the Mince Spy

Author: Matthew Redford

Synopsis: Tenacious carrot, detective inspector Willie Wortell is back to reveal the deviously delicious mind behind the crime of the festive season in this hugely entertaining, and utterly unconventional, short story. 

When Mitchell the Mince Spy is horrifically murdered by being over baked in a fan oven, it falls to
the Food Related Crime team to investigate this heinous act. Why was Mitchell killed? Who is the
mysterious man with a long white beard and why does he carry a syringe? Why is it that the death of a mince spy smells so good?  

Detective Inspector Willie Wortel, the best food sapiens police officer, once again leads his team into a series of crazy escapades. Supported by his able homo sapiens sergeant Dorothy Knox and his less able fruit officers Oranges and Lemons, they encounter Snow White and the seven dwarf cabbages as well as having a run in with the food sapiens secret service, MI GasMark5.

With a thigh slap here, and a thigh slap there, the team know Christmas is coming as the upper classes are acting strangely - why else would there be lords a leaping, ladies dancing and maids a milking?

And if that wasn't enough, the Government Minister for the Department of Fisheries, Agriculture and Rural Trade (DAFaRT) has only gone and given the turkeys a vote on whether they are for or against Christmas.   

Let the madness begin!

This short story by Matthew Redford follows his deliciously irreverent debut Addicted To Death (Clink Street Publishing, 2015).


Guest Post

I have to start by saying thank you for allowing me to write a guest article on your blog. And so I have been thinking about what I wanted to share with you. You might know that I am an author who writes about food sapiens, those genetically modified food items which developed the ability to breathe, walk and talk. Now that they are fully integrated into society their influence is becoming more and more prominent.
No more so than in music, where you probably haven’t realised that you have been dancing and singing to a number of songs by famous food sapiens. Let me give you a few examples. The famous Australian singer, Curly Kale Minogue, can often be seen dancing away in her gold hot pants which shine brightly against her leafy green skin. And her famous song, I should be so Leeky, has a way of staying with you all day that for some reason, maybe others will agree, but I just can’t get it out of my head.
Then there is the food related pop group Swede Music, who have spent most of their career writing hit songs about food sapiens and food related items. I bet a good number of you have had a few drinks and then danced away to Gimme, Gimme, Gimme some ham after midnight and then of course, how could I write about Swede Music without mentioning Chicken Tikka?
Indeed, it is not just music where food sapiens are becoming influential, for within the police service the Food Related Crime team have been making their presence felt. Led by a determined carrot in Detective Inspector Willie Wortel, the Food Related Crime team, have an excellent crime solving record. Wortel is supported by Dorothy Knox, his homo sapiens sergeant, and also by two fruit officers Oranges and Lemons. Although it must be said that Oranges and Lemons have a ‘unique’ approach to policing which is now used as part of teaching for new recruits under the module heading of ‘For God’s sake please never police like Oranges and Lemons.’
Wortel and Dorothy have been trying their hardest to get Oranges and Lemons to improve, and while there have been some signs that they are getting better, they are always prone to mistaking a victim of assault with something that you put on your chips with some vinegar.   
So within the police force the influence of food sapiens can be felt. Technology improvements have seen the police force develop a new flying food related crime device which can be used to track criminals who are escaping from the scene, although IT experts, also known as geeks, are trying to work out why the ice cream drone cannot be used in warm summer months.   
So my advice to all of the readers of this blog is quite simple. Keep your eyes peeled for food sapiens. They are all around, in every walk of life. And you might already have a food sapiens colleague or friend but you just don’t yet realise.

About Matthew Redford
Born in 1980, Matthew Redford grew up with his parents and elder brother on a council estate in Bermondsey, south-east London. He now lives in Longfield, Kent, takes masochistic pleasure in watching his favourite football team snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, is a keen chess player and is planning future food related crime novels. To counterbalance the quirkiness of his crime fiction Redford is an accountant. His unconventional debut crime thriller, Addicted to Death: A Food Related Crime
Investigation was published by Clink Street Publishing last summer.

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Friday, November 25, 2016

Friday Reads: 11/25/2016

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FRIDAY READS: 11/25/2016

      So it has been a hella long time since I've posted anything, and honestly, I'm not sorry. I'm at a time in my life where I really don't have a lot of time to dedicate to this blog or reading. I've got a lot to do at university from attending classes, studying, club meetings, work, and research. I hardly have time for myself, so my priorities do not lie with this blog. But in about a month, I will be on winter break, so maybe just maybe, I will be able to get more into the reading and blogging mood. We shall see. 

What I'm Listening To

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Synopsis: The sleepy town of Heartsdale, Georgia, is jolted into panic when Sara Linton, paediatrician and medical examiner, finds Sibyl Adams dead in the local diner. As well as being viciously raped, Sibyl has been cut: two deep knife wounds form a lethal cross over her stomach. But it's only once Sara starts to perform the post-mortem that the full extent of the killer's brutality becomes clear. Police chief Jeffrey Tolliver - Sara's ex-husband - is in charge of the investigation, and when a second victim is found, crucified, only a few days later, both Jeffrey and Sara have to face the fact that Sibyl's murder wasn't a one-off attack. What they're dealing with is a seasoned sexual predator. A violent serial killer.

I've barely started this book, so I don't really have that much of an opinion, but I'm interested to see where this goes. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of mystery audiobooks. I don't know why, but I've just been really enjoying that genre more than anything else at the moment.



      Right now I'm between reading actual books, so there is nothing to really report on that end. I'm having a hard time picking up books and physically reading because nothing is really interesting me. A lot of shit has been annoying. It just goes to show how I'm growing as a person because the stuff I used to enjoy doesn't entertain me anymore.



      Anyway, how are you guys? I haven't talked to y'all in awhile. Reading going well? Life doing you well? Tell me all about it in the comments.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Quick September & October 2016 Wrap Up

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QUICK SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER WRAP UP

I wanted to do a wrap up for September and October, but not the really comprehensive ones I usually do because I don't have the motivation to do all of that right now, so I'm just going to list and rate the books I read. Hope y'all enjoy. And if you have read the books I've listed, tell me in the comments. Even though I don't have the will to do a comprehensive wrap up, I would love to talk to you guys in the comments.

September Reads

Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson ★★★1/2
The Replacement Crush by Lisa Brown Roberts ★★★
Pumpkins in Paradise by Kathi Daley ★★
The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae ★★★1/2
Catch & Neutralize by Chris Gram ★★
Just Juliet by Charlotte Reagan ★★★★
Defending Jacob by William Landay ★★★★★
Wrecked by Maria Padian ★★★★
Deadly Descendant by Jenna Black ★★★
The Problem with Forever by Jennifer L. Armentrout ★★★

October Reads
Before I Go to Sleep by S.J. Watson ★★★★
Giant Days Issue #18 by John Allison and Max Sarin ★★★★1/2
White Hot Kiss by Jennifer L. Armentrout ★★★★★
The Book of the Unnamed Midwife by Meg Elison ★★★★
Stone Cold Touch by Jennifer L. Armentrout ★★★1/2
Every Last Breath by Jennifer L. Armentrout ★★★
Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling ★★★★1/2

Seriously, if it wasn't for audiobooks, I would only have like 5 books on this list

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

"After the Texans" by Declan Milling GUEST POST

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Book: After the Texans

Author: Declan Milling

Genre: Thriller

Publisher: Clink Street

Synopsis: Having exposed the corrupt government in Papua New Guinea, the UN’s carbon market watch dog is riding high. But Emil Pfeffer, its head of market integrity, is in meltdown. The UN investigation has been shelved and his girlfriend, Johanna, has been kidnapped as insurance that his inquiries will go no further. 

Wracked by guilt and desperate to find her, Emil finds himself thrust into the high-stakes battle being waged for control of the world’s remaining fossil fuel resources. 

It's economic war for hegemony over the future of global energy, being played out against a back drop of Australian domestic politics, where coal mining and the Great Barrier Reef are locked in a fight to the death.

After The Texans is the second novel in the Carbon Black series.


Why I decided to tackle a book with an issue as important as climate change.

The short answer, "stick with what you know”. But Nerdgirl Review is right, it is an important issue and one that the average person on the street would find daunting and impenetrable in a lot of respects. It’s complex and confronting and getting more and more urgent that there is a serious, but sensible, globally coordinated effort to address it. However, news or in the media generally, it’s often just too much or too hard to get one’s head around it. And that’s before the skeptics and deniers start throwing the disinformation about. 

Using it as the setting for a political conspiracy thriller hopefully makes it a little more accessible. Hopefully, readers might be inspired to find out more when they’ve read the novel. I’ve tried to make the context as real and as accurate as I can, while at the same time definitely not turning the novel into a textbook! It’s the characters caught up in the events who are communicating the context to the reader. I think there’s definitely a role for arts and popular culture to help inform society about issues such as this, not didactically, rather by simple inclusion and provoking thought.

About the Author

Declan Milling has over thirty years experience as an environmental lawyer. Born in Australia, he holds degrees in science and law and a masters degree in environmental law. Currently based in the United Kingdom, Milling divides his time between London and Edinburgh. His first novel, Carbon Black, was released in 2014.    http://www.declan-milling.com/

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

"Remember Yesterday" by Pintip Dunn Excerpt

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Book: Remember Yesterday

Author: Pintipp Dunn

Publisher: Entangled Teen

Release Date: October 4, 2016

Synopsis: Companion to the New York Times bestselling and award-winning novel, Forget Tomorrow.
Sixteen-year-old Jessa Stone is the most valuable citizen in Eden City. Her psychic abilities could lead to significant scientific discoveries, if only she’d let TechRA study her. But ten years ago, the scientists kidnapped and experimented on her, leading to severe ramifications for her sister, Callie. She’d much rather break into their labs and sabotage their research—starting with Tanner Callahan, budding scientist and the boy she loathes most at school.The past isn’t what she assumed, though—and neither is Tanner. He’s not the arrogant jerk she thought he was. And his research opens the door to the possibility that Jessa can rectify a fatal mistake made ten years earlier. She’ll do anything to change the past and save her sister—even if it means teaming up with the enemy she swore to defeat. 


EXCERPT

      I lift my eyes to meet his, and I reach into the future—his future. The vision pours intome. The future Tanner grabs me and kisses me. Without warning, without hesitation. It is hot andsearing and exquisite. And I like it. Oh, how I like it.

      “No!” I fall out of the vision and scoot away from him, so far that I approach the edge ofthe platform. My pulse is thundering; my nerves are jumping. Oh, Fates. What’s wrong with me?Is it because I don’t want him to kiss me? Or because I want it too much?

      His eyes turn watchful. "Come back here, Jessa. You're too close to the sky."

      I look into the open space, fluffy with wads of cotton-ball clouds. I take a breath, hopingto inhale some of the sky's serenity. He doesn't know about the kiss. Why would he? In thevision, he acted impulsively, without premeditation. The desire to kiss me hasn't arisen in himyet. Maybe I can prevent it from cropping up altogether.

      "Look, you don't want to kiss me," I babble, staying where I am. And hope I sound morereasonable than I feel. "It's only because we talked about kissing the other day. When you talkabout something, you give it life. Make it real. Like an annoying song you can't get out of yourhead."

     He creeps toward me, his eyes flicking between my face and the sky. "So you can't getthe idea of kissing me out of your head?"

      "I said it was annoying. Like a song. Not based on anything real."

      He stops five feet from the edge of the platform. "So let me get this straight. You sawinto the future and we kissed. Right?"

     "Y-yes,” I stutter, shocked that he guessed the truth so easily. “But it doesn't have tohappen that way," I add quickly. "As my sister proved, we're in control of our own fate. We canmake any future we wish."

      "Unless this is our Fixed." His voice is low, rough. And yet, every syllable imprints intomy memory forever. "Unless this kiss is so important, it happens in every one of our worlds."

      "It's just a kiss. How can it be that important?"

      His eyes glitter with the challenge. With one last look at the platform's edge, he crawls tome, slowly but steadily. "The path of our particular world might depend on this kiss. Would you risk our future just to be stubborn?"

     And then, he's right in front of me. He rests his hands lightly on my back. They slide down to my waist, until his fingers brush against the strip of bare skin between my pants and top.I shiver, and my skin pebbles into a million goose bumps. He pulls me against him. So much of my body is touching his that I can't think; I can't breathe. All I can do is feel. His trembling breath. My hammering heart. His shaking hands—or hell, maybe that's me, vibrating against his touch. 

      Our lips are inches apart. Time blends together. You couldn't move me from this spot if the world were crashing down around us.

      "I thought I wasn't your type," I whisper.

      "You're not," he says. "But for the fate of our world, I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

      And then, he closes the gap between us.


About the Author

Pintip Dunn is a New York Times bestselling author of YA fiction. She graduated from Harvard University, magna cum laude, with an A.B. in English Literature and Language. She received her J.D. at Yale Law School, where she was an editor of the YALE LAW JOURNAL. Pintip is represented by literary agent Beth Miller of Writers House. Her debut novel, FORGET TOMORROW, won the RWA RITA® for Best First Book. Her other novels include THE DARKEST LIE and the forthcoming REMEMBER YESTERDAY.She lives with her husband and children in Maryland. You can learn more about Pintip and her books at www.pintipdunn.com


My Rating System

★★★★★ This book is a gift from the literary gods
★★★★ This book was pretty damn good
★★★ This book had potential but missed the bar
★★ I probably didn't finish this book or it was god awful
★ Why does this book exist?

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